


and when i see you smile, the clouds will clear

by megansdrafts



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feels, Melancholy, Read at Your Own Risk, Sad Ending, light fluff, no y/n, only second person, something i came up with at 3am, will hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29472627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megansdrafts/pseuds/megansdrafts
Summary: With the limited time you have left, you hoped to do something revolutionary.
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi Ackerman & Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	and when i see you smile, the clouds will clear

When you joined the scouts, you didn’t do it for any particular reason nor a noble cause. Of course you always pretended like it was. 

Whenever you asked, they would always respond something along the lines of lending their lives to help save humanity. In turn, you said the same thing and masked your lies behind a steel face. Because nobody will ever know the true reason— and they will not figure it out.

For now though, you only have one goal in the survey corps. Empowered by a person who piqued your interest. They were a mystery waiting to be solved, and you liked a mystery. You knew because you yourself were one— one that nobody has figured out yet.

Perhaps, you thought, that was the same thing for him.

You noticed his steel gaze and hidden sorrow when his team got ripped apart, soldier by soldier like pawns on a chess board, until it was only filled with unrecognizable faces. You noticed the way he never ate when his table became empty. The way he pits his rage into something monstrous, the way his eyes flash when blood is spilt, and the split-second of emotion as he lifts his blade to deliver a finishing kill.

And soon, you were the one sitting at his table. You were the one who saw his other side up close. You were the one who spilt blood alongside him. You were assigned as a member of the special ops squad, and you knew that one day he would be alone again, only to be replaced by someone new.

 _That_ was why you began your goal. Because with the limited time you have left, you hoped that maybe you could do something revolutionary.

It started off little.

An act of kindness, occasionally. 

Maybe some subtle, comforting words.

But it quickly grew into something bigger than that as the trust between you two grew.

A blanket draped over his shoulders when he fell asleep on his desk.

The occasional late night insomniac episode, where you two made tea and sat silently in the dark. Both of you knew that each other’s company was something that could never be accounted for in words.

And then there were the silly episodes you had in the daytime, wide awake and full of energy, where you would ridicule yourself at the expense of a reaction from him.

Times where you would clean together, quipping each other with short, blunt questions and answers. Usually, you were the one questioning.

Eventually he trusted you enough to help him strategize. With your newfound skill and experience after time outside the walls, together you planned out expeditions and such alongside Erwin. 

One day you grew curious. A question gnawing at your mind for a while, actually. You turned to look at Levi from where you were sweeping to see him rubbing his nail draped in cloth against a stain on the window. The sun bore down through the glass, drowning his silhouette in an orange, ebony hair turned chestnut brown from the sunset. His eyes were dull and melancholy, like a memory kept playing over and over in his head, but would never go away.

Times like these. Peaceful, simple times were the ones you relished the most in. Which is why it was so hard to ask him, because you didn’t want to break that sense of peace. 

“Levi, why did you join the scouts?”

He froze, hand slowing to a stop. You tilted your head subconsciously, watching the way his eyes gazed outwards before turning to look at you through the window reflection— a sliver he just barely managed to grasp.

“A pointless question.”

“But a question I’m interested in, still.”

Levi ignored you. “Focus on your cleaning.”

You felt your face falter for a moment. But you looked down, continuing to sweep dust into a pile absentmindedly. The only thought in your head were his words, and how he avoided your question. You could only wonder _why_. It’s not so big of a deal to answer, but then again, you thought of how uncomfortable you felt whenever someone asks you the same.

To your surprise, however, he speaks up again. Hesitant, and careful, almost like he wasn’t sure that he was saying those words himself.

“Why... do you act this way?” He asks.

This time, I am the one to freeze.

“Why do you act so kind to me.”

You squint down at the cluster of dust by your feet. You certainly didn’t expect him to ask him such a personal question like that. And you certainly wouldn’t have been prepared for a question to leave you speechless.

Of course you knew the answer. But even thinking about saying it out loud scared you. And to be scared is such a foreign feeling around Levi.

“I’m kind to everyone,” you finally respond.

You can feel Levi’s gaze burning through you when he turns around, but he doesn’t push it. He eventually goes back to cleaning, scrubbing at the same stain on the window, and you go back to sneaking glances up at him, taking the scenery into memory so that you’d never forget it.

You’d never forget Levi. You’d never forget the way he is silent when he is content. The way he respects you, as you respect him. You’d never forget any dialogue shared between you two, because the words exchanged are few and far between. You do it because so when it all comes down to the end, you can remember him in each detail. 

You do it because you love him.

When the end eventually does come, it is slow. The pain is numbed when his face appears in front of you, his eyebrows pulled, and his hand warm when it’s clasped with yours. A rare display of affection that you relish in even in your dying moments. 

“Levi,” you whisper. His expression grows pained, and he brushes a thumb over your knuckles. For a moment you imagine that you two are happy in a world free of titans. A world that even then, you could never be truly content in, but at least Levi would be there with you, and you two would be safe. 

“Levi,” you repeat again, your throat closing up. You can’t feel your legs. Your mind begins to panic at this.

He leans forward. “Don’t worry. Just relax,” he smoothes a strand of hair from your face. “I’m here.”

“Levi,” you moan again for the third time. Because it’s all him. It’s all him, and he is all that you can think about. He is your everything, and here he is, cradling you in his arms. He is all you can think about, and saying his name brings a tear to your eye because it feels so good.

You suck in a deep, pained breath. “I never... I never g-got to see you s—smile before...”

His eyes pinched even more. You take a staggering breath and for a moment it feels like your last as fire explodes in your chest. But quiet silence passes by, and your eyes dim. You look into his own, and his cheeks pull up. You look down, and there you see a small, lopsided smile, glistening with tears, and reserved only for you.

You could only smile back.

The last thing you remember was him standing by the window, furiously scrubbing at the window. The sunset in his hair, and his face reigning that same peacefulness that you fell in love with.

When I see you smile, my goal will be accomplished.

  
When I see you smile, I will be happy.

  
When I see you smile, the world will revel in the sight.

  
And when I see you smile, the clouds will clear.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you liked it as much as I did :)
> 
> It took me about an hour to write, and by the end of it I fell asleep (see tags), so I got really excited when I woke up and read it! I liked it so much I edited it a bit and voila
> 
> I’m thinking of writing a fully fledged story where the oc is a marleyan who becomes a volunteer for Paradis, whichll be a levixoc fic, but idk, we’ll see. the two are totally unrelated btw


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